No Writing On Book Today

My baby boy is in China. He fell in love with Asia when he went to Japan to study abroad his Junior Year in college. He has lived off and on (mostly on) in Asia since he was 20 years old.

I tried to get him to fly home a couple weeks ago when the Coronavirus first appeared. He was sure all would be fine. Besides he is busy with his new school. Well, now schools are closed all over China and now the US is saying Do NOT fly to China and if you’re an American citizen in China, come home immediately. Is he coming? I still don’t know.

There are other things to consider. I read one article this morning about one American who is choosing to stay. She said she knows how she acts, but she can’t be sure all the others around her in line waiting to board planes are as scrupulous. They say you can be contagious before symptoms appear. Who’s done what, or been around what or whom and is now standing beside you in line as you leave the country? That’s her way of thinking.

I was looking into flying over just this week. If he gets sick, who better than his mother to take care of him? He said no. Do NOT come to China right now. Shall I play my trump card and say, “Then YOU come home?”

No. He’s a grown man. He’s a grown married man. His wife is Chinese and I doubt she would be allowed to leave, but I’m not sure.

That is their decision to make, but until they do, it feels like wild horses are inside my head galloping around dragging my brain behind them and I cannot work on any writing right now.

Can I walk back to my bedroom and lie back down? I’m getting ready to find out. This whole situation is exhausting and worrisome and there’s not one damned thing I can do to change it.

Wait. I can pray. If you are a person who prays, please say a prayer for China, her citizens/inhabitants and my son. Thank you.

CHAPTER NINE: WHAT THEY DID TO ME

I just finished uploading chapter nine to my Blindman book template. I see the template ends with Chapter Ten, so I went ahead and inserted some blank pages after the Chapter Ten template. I need to click on that link the nice lady at kdp publishing sent to see if that template varies from this one. I assume I can upload these nine chapters to her template, if it does.

What They Did To Me is currently the ninth chapter in my book. It is 1294 pages long. I may have to add words to it. I have written about this part 3 or 4 other times. I’ll combine / delete / add whatever I need to, but that will be my first read through editing. Right now I’m just trying to get all the chapters in order in the self-publishing template.

This wears me out. Just doing this wears me out. Nevermind that I spent a couple hours last night skyping with my son who is currently in China. The Coronavirus is active over there now (and in other countries, but not as bad as it is in China). I have begged him to come home. He refused. He has married a lovely Chinese woman and is staying. I’m not sure she could come with him this trip.

I could not sign into skype. I have not been able to sign in since I moved here. I don’t know what happened to my skype account. My sons set up my computer before I made the final move myself here, but what happened to skype? Yesterday I figured out a way to set up a new skype account and sent my baby boy the info. He got on skype around 1 am my time. I think it was 2 pm his time. He was eating lunch and as usual, I was very interested in the food over there. He told me what it was and what it tasted like. I had planned to fly over. I’d even checked on flights in the near future. He said not to come now. He said Shanghai’s airport is not a place I want to travel through right now. He said it would cause them to have to drive to the airport and they are trying to stay home. Everyone is trying to stay in as much as they can. And no, he is not flying here right now.

I’ve done all I can do to try to keep him safe. He insists on staying in China with his wife. I reminded him that they have an anniversary coming up. They have almost been married a year now.

I didn’t sleep well after that skype session. We used to skype every Monday morning when I lived in my old house. I moved here and those weekly sessions stopped. I could not get on skype. He was trying to help me recover my password, but we’d worked on it two days and had not done that yet. I saw a way to set up a new skype account and I did.

He wants a copy of the Black History Teacher Resource book I’ve self-published. I promised to send him one. I have a friend I want to get one for as well. I’m adding to that book and editing it and will re-publish it by next January.

I am waiting for my Writer’s Market to arrive. I ordered it Jan 4 from Amazon.com They took the payment out for it Jan 9. I still don’t have it. Do you want to see the tracking history? It actually was in this city and then for some reason got shipped to another state. They sent it to Maryland. Let me see if I can copy paste that crazy shipping info history. I have asked for my money back. Because the company keeps extending the deliver by date, Amazon says I do not qualify for a refund. It is not past the deliver by date yet. Yes, it is. It has passed two times now. Let me copy/paste that shippig record.

Here it is: Read it from the bottom up:

Friday, January 24

4:21 AM

Package has left the carrier facility

Linthicum Heights Md Distribution Center, US

Thursday, January 23

11:04 AM

Package forwarded to a different delivery address

Elkridge, MD US

10:27 AM

Package forwarded to a different delivery address

Hanover, MD US

9:04 AM

Package arrived at a carrier facility

Elkridge, MD US

Wednesday, January 22

6:46 PM

Package arrived at a carrier facility

Linthicum Heights Md Distribution Center, US

2:20 AM

Package has left the carrier facility

Raleigh Nc Distribution Center, US

Monday, January 20

3:04 PM

Package arrived at a carrier facility

Raleigh Nc Distribution Center, US

Friday, January 17

1:28 AM

Package has left the carrier facility

York, PA US

Thursday, January 16

9:57 PM

Package arrived at a carrier facility

York, PA US

4:36 AM

Package has left the carrier facility

Glendale Heights, IL US

Wednesday, January 15

9:12 PM

Package arrived at a carrier facility

Glendale Heights, IL US

1:02 PM

Package arrived at a carrier facility

Waukegan, IL US

Tuesday, January 7

Package has shipped

********************************************************************

I just went to the USPS tracking site and this is the latest entry:

In transit

January 28, 12:00AM

Well, hell’s bells, I KNOW it’s in transit. That thing has traveled more miles than I ever have.

Do you want to know who the seller is? Here you go

Wordery USA

Never, ever order anything from that seller, if you ever want to see your ordered merchandise. I’ve never, ever had this much trouble receiving a book before. I told them I want a refund and they said give it a few more days to get there. I wonder what kind of wrapper it was shipped in, and if the book will be damaged if it ever arrives? It might be out of what do you call it? A new edition might have been published by the time it gets here. I have frankly given up on ever seeing the Writer’s Market I ordered from Wordery USA on January 4, 2020 through Amazon.com

Now, I’ve told you what Wordery has done to me this month. If you want to know what they did to me in chapter nine, you’ll have to buy the book. Or get the kindle edition.

I had a rough night last night. I’m having a rough day. First the clowns at this apartment complex decided to trim trees all day yesterday. Today they are mowing the grass. It is January 30. I have never seen people prune trees, bushes or mow their grass in January. I feel like I’ve moved to some new universe or something. I have found a house for rent in the town I moved from to live here. I have an appointment to see it Saturday.

I want to give you a hint of what was done to me, but I am not able. Maybe another day I will be able to offer a hint. No one has to buy my book. I’m well aware of that. I do not want to alienate readers, but I’m having a rough day following a rough night.

Did I mention my baby boy is in China and is staying and Coronavirus is in China as well right now? Too much stress will make you crazy, they say.

I Know Who You Are

Do you remember that movie where teenage girls made prank phone calls to random phone numbers, and they’d say “I know who you are, and I saw what you did”? The problem was they happened to call a murderer’s phone and he believed them. Then he searched for them, and he found them.

That phrase has been going through my head as I work on my Blindman book. It’s a memoir and I intend to include people’s real names, places and actions. Since much of it involved court, I will (should) have the court recordings to support what I’m saying. I tried to get transcripts of the court hearings and was told only an uninterested party could get those. I didn’t believe my lawyer when he told me that and I asked him why the hell an uninterested or disinterested party would want a copy? That made no sense.

His name has already been in one published book about that  town. Let me see if I can find the name of that book. I found the following link, and since there’s been more than one book written about the crime, I’m not sure which book Mr. Johnston’s name is in, but he was one of the defense attorneys. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Lieth_Von_Stein

He was also my attorney and his name is probably going to be in my book.

I’ve found a couple links suggesting names be changed and one about possible lawsuit, but you know what? I have proof, and so I will use mostly real names, especially of the key players.

Like the girls in the movie said, “I know who they are and I saw what they did.” So did many others.

Chapter Eight Two Times

I just uploaded 704 words of Chapter Eight. Then when I looked at what came next, I saw a 374 word version of the same scene. I added that. When I go back through and do the first edit, I’ll combine those two versions, but I cannot do it now.

I did think about all those words I’ve written and how it looked like I’d have 162 chapters. I also thought how most chapters so far average 500 words. 500 words are 2 pages. There are approximately 250 words on a page. When you stop and think about it that way, even if I had 162 chapters (I won’t),. it would only be a little over 300 pages. So that worry is gone.

The next set of chapters I have worked on a lot and they should be quick to upload. The hard part is reading through them. I didn’t even read through those 374 words I just pasted at the end of the 704 word version of the same chapter. I’ll do that when I work to combine them. I could see some of the same things were included in each version. Chances are, I’ll delete the duplicate things, choosing the best written version of the sentence and then make sure it flows when it reads and move on.

I must move on right now. Although my kids have encouraged me to write this book, they’ve said they want this book published, when I shared the latest chapter . . . just mentioned it, not reading it to him, to one of them a couple days ago, it upset him. If it upsets him, just thinking about it, I wonder what it’s truly doing to me?

Well, writing has often been theraputic for me. I didn’t write all these words for this book so I could not publish it. I’ll get it all together, offer to let any of my kids read it, who want to, and off it’ll go to kdp self-publishing, unless one of the publishers I’ve pitched it to shows an interest. If one of my kids changes his mind, I won’t publish it, but I am going ahead as if they won’t change their minds.

We do what we can do in this lifetime, and then we move on and we’re done here.

Chapter Seven, Blindman Book

I just uploaded Chapter Seven of the Blindman Book. It is 762 words long and was written in February 2018. It was difficult and time consuming to take all the words I had written on this book for over twenty years and load the scenes and chapters into chronological order. Now that I did that, it is easier to upload it to the kdp template for self-publishing. However, some parts are still out of order and having to be moved around. As I copied/pasted this chapter, I noticed something I’d mentioned previously had happened later than I realized. Well, I’ll have to go back and edit that, won’t I?

This book is overwhelming. I can tell my blood pressure goes up and I get agitated as I read through it and upload it. I read it one time for editing before I upload it, and then I read it again after uploading to see how it sounds. It sounds like I can’t believe I lived through that time in my life. It sounds like I did nothing wrong and all hell broke loose. It sounds like it probably happens to other people as well in the same way. It sounds like a story to be told.

I am afraid to do the math, but if I have 114,000 words written, and most chapters are around 500 words . . . let’s just say they’re all closer to 700 for the math part and see how many chapters that means I might have. (Are you pulling your hair out yet? That’s next on my agenda.) Is that 162? You know I will not have one hundred sixty-two chapters in this book. And so far this was the longest chapter. Time and place change is where I switch chapters. I don’t know any other way to do it. Shall I hop on that merry go round of self-doubt I frequently ride, or shall I calm myself down (can I?) and know this will all work out. It will, won’t it? It has to.

I will continue to plod on and hope I find duplications and delete those. Then, perhaps I will have to delete some chapters, if I truly end up with 162 chapters. What kind of book has 162 chapters???

Pray. I will pray. I believe very much in the power of prayer. When I was going through all this awful stuff, I took my Bible to the courtroom with me. My Bible. I will go read a little in my Bible, and it will calm me down.

Did I mention my minister is currently having us read through the whole Bible this year and he preaches on what we read each Sunday? I have read all the Old Testament through and started on the New Testament myself already. That was years ago. I got tired of hearing other people interpret the Bible for me and decided to read it for myself. That’s when I found all those wonderful stories of all the different relationships and situations in the Bible. I think that was the same time I read somewhere that every human situation that can be lived through has already been described and solutions shown in the Bible. Or were they just described? I can’t remember.

Ok. Deflection. Is that what I just did? Did I deflect my frantic thoughts from the book that is way over written to something I can handle? I don’t know. I sure hope and pray I can get this book completed and in a great way before this year, 2020 is over. I had no idea how much I’d written on it when I continued to write more in November.

Ok. Just got a bad phone call. I’d ask can this day get any worse, but we all know the answer to that. It can and it will. I hate this book. I hate reliving these things. I hate it all, but I hope something good comes from my writing this book. There is so much injustice in this country. My book reveals one more layer.

Chapter Six, Blindman Book

Yesterday after I’d uploaded Chapter Five to the Blindman template, I glanced at the next chapter. There was a chapter missing before it, and I wrote that this morning. It was only 477 words. I looked back and except for chapter three, which is 800 plus words, all the chapters are between 477 and 550 words, so I was being consistent. I’m amazed to see this book shaping up. I’ve worked on it for years.

It didn’t take long to write Chapter Six. I remember that day like it was yesterday. This is a memoir style book with memories of what happened to me and my children written down in a story form. In the Memoir and Truth Telling course I took at UNCW, the instructor told us we could talk to others involved at the time or rely on our memories. For this, since it was me and two other people I will never talk to again, I wrote from just my own memories. I do have court papers and other forms of documentation to refer to, but my chapters were written when a memory would pop up and I’d have to write it down to stop it staying in my head and tormenting me all day. The chapters were written over the years.

I am glad I reached a place in the book where a transition chapter was needed. I wondered how it would be to write a chapter, if it wasn’t swirling around in my mind torturing me. It was actually much easier as the emotion wasn’t so heightened.

Emotion has inspired many of my stories. My poetry is also inspired. I will see something and begin to think up rhyming words to describe it and there starts my poem.

I don’t understand how articles can say you shouldn’t wait to be inspired to write. I am inspired every day, and if I wasn’t, I’m not sure I’d have much to write. I can type up an article by mapping it out and writing each part, but for stories or poems, they mostly write themselves.

Promotional Price on kdp Kindle Edition

I’ve ordered some copies of my paperback Black History book to send to some of the Board of Education employees. The book has a lot of information in it, but I haven’t sold one paperback copy. I think part of the problem is the title. I was going to call it Black History Rhymes because it started out as a book of short poems about famous African Americans, and I thought it would be good for teachers to use during February, which is Black History Month in America.

My son saw what I was doing and said I should call it Black History Raps: Spoken Word Poetry, and that sounded fancier, so I went with that. I was dismayed when I found it on Amazon and it was listed with the gangster rap kind of books. That’s not what it is. It’s a teacher resource book and the more I thought about it, the more I thought it should have those two words “Teacher Resource” in the title.

I went to my account on kdp publishing to see what I could do to make the book show up more as a teacher resource book. It’s too close to February now (when it would really be useful) to change the name. That kind of stuff then has to be approved, etc., etc. I do want to do that for next year, but it looks like I’ll have to call it a whole new edition. I plan to add at least 43 more pages, but I already have at least one more I want to add. Plus I found a typo I want to correct. I’ll be working on this book as well.

But today as I looked around the kdp site, I noticed a price promotion I could do with the Kindle version of the Black History book. So starting tomorrow it’s available on kindle for 99 cents. Then the price goes up again on January 29 to $1.99. That sale lasts until February 1 when it goes back to its regular price of $2.99.

Well, I just went to the kdp site and I’m glad I did. I wish I’d known I had to completely resubmit the book to change the keywords that help customers on Amazon.com find it as a Black History Teacher Resource book. I would have fixed the typo I found on one of the pages. But I don’t want to go through the whole process of uploading the book again, so I’ll wait until they approve this version. It could take up to 72 hours and I’ll change that typo in next year’s edition. I’m not sure what to do about the added pages, as they want me to say “previously published as” what it is now, but it won’t be the exact same book, so maybe I can figure it out later. Let’s see if they approve it, or if I did something stupid and they reject it, and I have to try to fix the paperback copy in time to sell it for this February’s use. I was just trying to attract teachers to the book. It even has worksheets in it! It’s a Teachers Black History Resource book.

I’ll be interested in knowing if anyone buys the kindle version. If they have an Amazon Kindle, they can view it for free. Well, these first two published books are learning experiences and I have learned a lot, and I expect I’ll learn more as time goes on.

 

Chapter Four – Blindman

I just uploaded Chapter Four of the Blindman book. As I read through it to edit it, I saw nothing I wanted to delete or revise. I am very tired from a rough night (healthwise) last night. Since I plan to go back through the whole book at least two more times, I will go with my judgement, flawed though it may be, with this chapter.

I heard from the kdp publishing site. They said since the button they have on their site didn’t work on my computer, they were sending me links to their templates. I haven’t checked them yet because I was in a lot of pain last night and just trying to survive.

I have a rare condition called Achalasia and was having an esophagus spasm most of the night. I’d never had one that lasted over an hour before and I was worn out this morning. They say it mimics heart attack pain. I know when I saw my primary care doctor with it the first time, the first thing he did was run an EKG.

I don’t know why I’m including this info in this blog. I’m just delighted that I got Chapter Four of the book in the book and it looks to me like there is no need for a transitory chapter or any editing. But like I stated, my judgement might be off. But onward and upward! and stay on course and this book will be published this year!

I wish I had a publisher to publish it for me and help me with the edits, but no one has shown much interest and time is running out. I’m doing it myself. This is the third book I’ve self-published through Amazon.com self-publishing site. The first one was a book of Pet Poetry and the second one was a Teachers Resource book for Black History Month. The Pet Poetry was titled Bow Wow! Meow! by Constance Barr Corbett. The Black History Resource book was titled Black History Raps: Spoken Word Poetry by Corbett, and I regret changing the title from Black History Rhymes, a Resource Book for Teachers. I will see if I can change the name at some point in the future. Wanna see the Pet poetry book? Go to Amazon.com and search for Bow Wow! Meow by Corbett.

Bow Wow! Meow!: Poems about Pets Stories – Cats Dogs and Others  by Constance Barr Corbett

Here’s the cover for the Black History Book: You can look inside a few pages of the books at Amazon.com . . . if you have the Amazon Kindle, you can read them both for free on it. There is also a Kindle version for sale that costs less than the paperback for each book.

When The Blindman book is published, you will know it first right here! I don’t know how many chapters are in it, but I do know I’ve now included through chapter four on the template.

 

Solved My Problem

Yesterday I could not find the formatting template I used at Createspace. Createspace was merged with kdp publishing on amazon.com    I found Createspace easier to use. It took some time figuring it out, but I understood the process and knew my way around the site. Then the merger, and nothing has been the same since.

Yesterday no matter how many times I tried to download what appeared to be the template, it would not download. Instead the link flashed and nothing ever happened. My son even stood in here and looked over my shoulder to see if he could figure out what I was doing wrong. He couldn’t see anything to do differently.

I went back to the template I already had on this computer and deleted (no, not really. I delete very few things, I copied/pasted it to a word doc) what was already in the template. Then I replaced it with what I wanted to upload eventually.

I did find a link that seemed helpful and was using it. It told me how to format my manuscript for self-publishing. I’ll include it at the end of this blog. I was able to follow those directions, but I resented having to do all that when I had a perfectly good template that was already formatted. I’d used it before. That’s when it occurred to me to use it again.

Let me put that link here in case anyone wants to look at how to format a self-published book.  https://peersofbeinan.wordpress.com/2017/03/28/how-to-format-paperbacks-without-createspaces-interior-templates/

Quandary

Well, now I have a bit of a quandary. A couple days ago I began to edit my Blindman book. Today I have found the template for createspace publishing where I have uploaded the first chapter. The problem is, that chapter begins 7 months after the first chapter I’ve put in my most recently edited Blindman book.  Which would be better? To begin 7 months prior or to use the 7 months’ prior scenes as flashbacks?

My only solution is to see if I can download another kdp book format and try writing it as I have been for two days and see when I merge it with the current first chapter, that first chapter being a later chapter in the book, if it will read better or worse.

I keep asking myself why this book is giving me so many problems? It was difficult to write but I felt like the story needed telling. Now I can’t even decide where to begin to tell the tale? What is wrong with me???? I’ve never had this much trouble writing before.

I did wake up sick this morning, but it feels like this whole fiasco has gone on forever. I can hear Julie Rogers singing her song . . . was that her name? No, it was Julie Andrews . . . singing “Let’s start at the very beginning” . . . well, how can I do that if I’m not sure where the very beginning is, and if I’m not sure which sequence of events would read better?

Ok. I’m going to try to download/upload whatever load another kdp book format and put the book in it and write a little that way and see how it sounds. That’s all I know to do.

That took an hour, and I wasn’t successful. Before there was a formatted book template at Createspace on Amazon. Then, because that worked so well, they combined Createspace with kdp publishing on Amazon. So now you have your book available in paperback and anyone who buys that kindle from Amazon gets to read any book that is on that site for free on their kindle . But still it’s the place I published my first two books, so let’s continue?

I cannot find the formatted template for the book’s interior like I could easily find it on Createspace. I do admit, I’m sick. I was working on this to try to take my mind off how sick I do feel this morning. I had a sub job lined up for tomorrow afternoon, but when I woke up throwing up this morning, I canceled it. I no longer care if canceled has one l or two.

I am sick of everything taking four hundred times as long as it has to because no one can put anything anywhere a sane person can find it.

I no longer care if this book ever gets published.

I may never work on it again.

I realize I am having a temper tantrum and I don’t care.

I’m now having chills. I hate this body! If you get a little age on your body, it begins to have its check engine light come on daily. Sometimes I don’t think it even knows what the hell it’s doing anymore.

I have a friend who worries about his mind not working right as he ages. I’d prefer to lose my mind and keep my body. My mind can tell what is going on, and it doesn’t like it one bit.

Where the hell did the kdp site hide the interior format section?

I wonder if I can save it one way . . . I have it with a book started in it on microsoft office . . . can I save that book one way and then delete what’s in the template and save it the other way and carry on? I’m going to try that. I’d say I’d brb, but we all know that’s a lie. If it involves a computer, I’ll be back in a year or two!

When I save it, it cannot be read where I saved it so that I could delete what was in the interior and replace it with the other way I wanted to write the book. I am going to end this blog with the way the template has looked in the past and if anyone knows where kdp publishers has hidden this template, please let me know. I give up. I’m sick. I’m tired and I just don’t care anymore. Here’s what I was looking for . . . it’s a book interior format and it was easy to use (so they probably discontinued it). What I’m going to paste, (if THAT works this morning) is just chapter 2. The template contained a lot of other parts of the book as well, but if you recognize the following and know where I can find it, please let me know.

2 CHAPTER NAME

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